Eggshells and Speedsters
by cosmic-mischief
Summary: After a rude wake-up call, Robin braces himself for a bad day. Luckily, the universe takes pity on the Boy Wonder with the help of a certain speedster.


_A/N: I was cooking breakfast one day, one thing led to another and now we have a oneshot with slight slash :D_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice_

* * *

><p>Dick Grayson grumbled as he heard the <em>beep-beep-beep<em> of his alarm. The shrill sound had rudely interrupted his much needed sleep and he couldn't help but glare at the compact black device. The display read six o'clock in big blinking red letters. Usually, Robin started his day with early morning training. Today, however, the cold nip in the air and his late-night duties had him bargaining for a few more minutes of sleep. Regrettably, his alarm was unsympathetic and persisted. The young hero knew, with every fiber of his being, that it was mocking him.

'_Wake up Boy Wonder!'_

'_Who cares if you spent the entire night piecing up evidence that could potentially save hundreds of lives? I surely don't'_

'_I'm an alarm, I do what I want!'_

'_Nanana-naaa-nananaa-naaaaaa… Wake. UP!'_

Dick slammed a hand down. It stung, but the satisfying 'click' of the off button was a worthy prize. He buried himself back in his covers. The warmth of his cocoon was a blessing he refused to relinquish. The world had other plans though.

"Seven A.M. waking up in the morning…"

Dick groaned.

_Why was the universe being cruel today? _

Hurriedly, he grabbed another pillow to smother out the sound. It did nothing. The song droned on, getting louder with each passing second. He grudgingly reached out for his mobile, but did so with his eyes closed.

_One point for teenage rebellion._

Immediately, his hand connected painfully with the corner of his dresser and the not-so-innocent acrobat swore loudly.

_One point to malicious inanimate objects._

A few more minutes were spent aimlessly groping. Dick was about to relent when he felt the cool metal against his fingertips. He smirked. A stray flick of his pinky had his phone falling down though.

_Two points to malicious inanimate objects._

"It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!"

Whose brain dead idea was it to change his alarm tone to something he hated anyways?

Oh right… _Wally's_

"_It'll be funny dude, plus it's practically a guarantee that you'll wake up"_

…_damn speedster_

Dick lethargically sat up and glowered at his soon-to-be-crushed phone. It sat unsuspectingly a few feet away on the carpet and he whined out pathetically. It was cold and he really didn't want to go all the way over there. Luckily, his flexibility allowed him to stretch out. Goose bumps ran across his extended arm but at least his legs were tucked safely away in his wool blankets. Briefly, he wondered at the reason for the rude wake up call. He didn't make a habit of using his phone as an alarm and he didn't have anything planned for the day either.

With deft fingers, he flipped it open and clicked on the tiny bell icon. Silence returned as an image of a sparkling pixilated cake popped out. Under it was his name.

It was his birthday.

Robin stared vacantly at the screen before chuckling. He forgot all about it. Between juggling his identities, he often overlooked the day for more pressing issues. It was a trait he shared with Bruce, much to their amusement and to Alfred's exasperation.

Well, considering that it was his birthday, he deserved to get a few more minutes of shut-eye, didn't he? Dick carelessly dropped his phone and crawled back over. Closing his eyes, he began to count off the imaginary chickens crossing the imaginary road. Thirty-seven was the lucky number that would have him finally drifting off.

_One…Two… Three… Four…_

A grand party awaited him back at the manor. There would be fancy food and even fancier gusts—most of whom, were there on business rather than pleasure. Some of his classmates, Bruce's work associates, a few politicians and the occasional Gotham celebrity would be in attendance. The night would be rife with well-wishes, gifts, subtle barbs, backhanded compliments and truckloads of posturing. _Ohh… the posturing_.

Normally, Robin enjoyed the power play, but on his birthday, he really wished he could do without. Not everyone at the party had a hidden agenda, but the many who did, were obnoxiously loud and flamboyant in their pretensions. In fact, the occasion was less of a celebration and more of an exercise in social manhandling. Every movement, every word said and _not said_ was judged and weighted. It was a tiring constant each year that had him preferring patrol duty. At least wading through Gotham's muck and grime or chasing some baddy with a convoluted plan for world destruction and/or domination was entertaining and fairly straightforward, in a twisted sort of way.

He had the feeling that Bruce would agree.

_Seventeen…Eighteen…Nineteen… _

If it were up to him, he would have a small gathering with people he actually liked. The only close friend he had over for the rich boy parties was Babs, and while having her around during the bore-fest was a veritable blessing, having _all_ his friends over and being free to act as himself, as _Dick_, would just be an invaluable gift. But that was unlikely; the team didn't even know his name, much less, his birthday—except for Wally that is. Then again… it wasn't like the redhead remembered anyway.

Robin assumed it had something to do with relative time. Because time moved differently for speedsters, keeping track of it was a challenge, one that often led to forgetting important events. Even Barry was prone to it but the Flash at least tried to remind himself; though he was of late. Wally, in contrast, was typically on time but was a complete scatterbrain when it came to calendar dates.

Having Kid Mouth over would make everything more bearable though. KF had the natural affinity for easing people. His easy-going nature and friendly candidness made him a breath of fresh air in suffocating Gotham. Plus, as Dick's best friend, he knew both sides of the young acrobat's identity—which was more than he could say for anyone else, barring Bruce and Alfred.

Besides, Wallace West in high society would just be a gold mine of entertainment.

He could just imagine Wally, open, down-to-earth, _clueless_ _Wally_, naively offending some socialite with a trivial comment. The science geek would be fidgeting in a suit. He'd nervously pick at his outfit until he eventually unraveled it with a stray thread. He would dance like a dork and flirt with the grace of a fish on dry land. And if left to the buffet table…

Dick chuckled.

_Thirty-three…thirty-four…_

A few more chickens and he'd be back to sleep. Maybe he'd even dream about a certain speedster sending his party guests running. He smiled at the thought.

_Thirty-seven._

CRAAAAAASHHHHH

Dick banged his head against his pillow. He just couldn't catch a break. Moodily, he finally got off the bed. It was freezing but he ignored the temperature in favor of grabbing his shades, alarm clock and phone. He headed straight out the door with a determined stride. Whoever made that noise would have the privilege of being violently introduced, _head-fir_s_t_, to his belongings.

Batman would've scolded him for his anger-driven response. Robin couldn't muster the energy to care.

Arriving at the scene of the crime—because honestly, waking someone up so early on their birthday should've been punishable by law—Dick noted that Artemis had beaten him there. The blonde was wearing a large shirt and sweatpants. Her collapsible bow was in her hands and she stood ramrod straight with a wide-eyed look that had him tensing in anticipation. He turned the corner and saw Kid Flash in an apron.

The kitchen was a _mess_, like Red Tornado decided to spice it up with a few whirlwinds. Everything was thrown haphazardly all over the place. Wally, on the other hand, was calmly standing in the middle. The speedster was holding up a bowl in one hand as the other whisked quickly away at some sort of batter. Auburn eyebrows were furrowed and a pink tongue poked out as he concentrated on a book propped innocently on the fruit basket. Dick refused to believe that a cookbook could cause this much chaos and so decided that the innocuousness of it all was a ruse. The speedster was probably using an ancient spell book to conjure up a demon that would enslave all human kind _and_ do his laundry. But of course, that was silly.

KF didn't believe in magic.

Dick could only stare dumbly as his belongings met the floor with a dull thud. Wally had M'gann's apron on. The garment had seen better days as it now sported new stains that Dick doubted even Alfred could manage. His best friend was also using the Martian's headband to control his unruly hair but the red locks stuck out defiantly. All in all, the older teen looked like a mad genius, without the genius part that is.

"What the hell are you doing Baywatch?"

Wally jumped in surprise. It was a good thing that lightning reflexes was a speedster skill, because Kid Flash fumbled out to catch the bowl that slipped. In an instant, the plastic container was in his flour encrusted fingers. It was tilting out precariously and he immediately set it down. He breathed a sigh of relief as he looked up at his friends. At the sight of the Boy Wonder, green eyes widened before crinkling in mirth.

"Making breakfast" he said nonchalantly and went back to mixing.

Artemis' expression was a Kodak moment that Dick couldn't fully appreciate due to his own shock. Disbelief at his friend's antics wasn't a rare occurrence but that didn't mean he ever got used to it.

"…really?" The archer asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Wally stopped what he was doing. He looked at the blonde with confusion. "Yeah" A lick of his fingers "just got started actually"

The redhead nodded in approval of his strange creation before producing an oven tray from thin air. The dumbfounded pair watched as he began to lay down portions on the tempered steel.

The chunky globs were unequal.

"…why?" Dick finally rasped out.

The redhead looked at him for what felt like a second too long, before smiling a goofy grin "Just felt like it"

There was movement to his side and Dick turned to spot M'gann and Conner walking into the room. They were both in their pajamas. M'gann stopped right away at the sight of Master Chef Wally while Conner kept on walking. The half-Kryptonian was completely oblivious. He opened the fridge and grabbed a jug of cold water. Half of it was downed in one gulp before Superboy finally noticed the speedster. He jolted up.

M'gann politely but warily asked "What's going on?"

"Kid Dork's cooking breakfast apparently" Artemis had her arms crossed. Her disbelief was written clear across her face.

"Why?" Conner questioned apprehensively.

"I asked the same" Dick added in

Wally frowned back in his isolated kingdom of culinary destruction. The countertops were the dividing line between safety and eggshell madness. He opened his mouth to speak when the gate to the beach slid open. Soon, the team heard footsteps as Kaldur entered. The Atlantian was sweaty from training and intended a quick drink from the kitchen. Upon spotting the team, he froze.

"What is happening here?" Kaldur's concerned voice was low as he assessed the situation.

"Wally's cooking breakfast" M'gann answered uncertainly. The reply had Kaldur surveying the room in mild distrust. He wasn't sure if the egg dripping down one of the cupboards was a threat. With the patience of a saint, he smiled—somewhat forcedly.

"I see. But if I may ask, _why_?"

Wally bristled at the question. With a huff, the speedster set the bowl down, accidentally smacking it right on the newly laid out portions. Despite the splatter of batter, he didn't notice a thing.

"What? Can't a grown man cook when he feels like it?"

Raised eyebrows answered him and Wally sputtered out.

"Whatever Kid Dork, just _don't_ expect any of us to eat _that_" Artemis responded with a flourish of her index finger. There were subtle nods in agreement as Wally deflated.

The speedster had his arms to the side and pouted "Why not?"

The blonde sighed. Talking to a child was much easier than reasoning with captain doofus here. She narrowed her eyes before explaining slowly.

"Because whatever that's supposed to be, it's gonna send us all to the hospital!"

"Hey!" KF protested. His hands went to his hips and he looked every bit like a mother hen; a breaded redheaded chicken. Dick had to laugh at the imagery.

"Food poisoning" Conner supplied

"Supes! You're not helping. You don't even get food poisoning!"

Conner shrugged. He wasn't willing to test it.

Recognizing the losing battle, Wally looked up to their leader instead. His emerald eyes were wide and hopeful. Dick counted the long seconds it took the Atlantian to answer.

"I'm afraid I may not be attuned to your diet on the surface"

That was a bold faced lie. Robin distinctly remembered watching the tall male eat a cheeseburger with no problem at all.

"Aww c'mon! Megs! Help me out here"

"Ummm…"

Oh sweet and gentle M'gann looked like a deer caught in headlights. Her lips were readying a distinct 'no' but the pleading look the other redhead gave her was clawing away at her heartstrings. Surely it couldn't be that bad. If Wally could stomach her earlier cooking then it was only fair for her to give it a shot. Right?

The Martian was about to give in when, what looked like a soufflé, bubbled up behind Wally before bursting with an audible pop. M'gann blanched.

Robin cackled out "Forget food poisoning, are we sure KF didn't spawn a new life form?"

"Rob, not you too!"

"Point is, we can't afford to miss a mission just because you decided to play housewife" Artemis interjected harshly before she stomped off to the training room. Kaldur gave an apologetic smile before excusing himself as well. Conner shrugged and headed off to the living room, tuning into his static. M'gann murmured a '_sorry Wally_' before floating back to the showers.

Dick watched them leave, thoroughly entertained. He was about to head back to his own room, to catch up on some much needed Z's, when he caught sight of the speedster's face. Wally looked forlorn; not even the usual '_KF-the-drama-queen'_ kind. He looked so defeated that Dick found himself by the speedster's side instead.

"So… what are we making today?"

Wally spared him a glance before replying quietly "You can go if you want"

Dick felt worse.

The Boy Wonder bit his lip before sighing. Unceremoniously, he smacked the older boy's arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Wally rubbed the spot. He was getting flour all over his arm.

"Your kitchen experiments woke me up. Now I demand to be fed" Dick crossed his arms over. He had the air of a spoiled brat who always got what he wanted when he wanted. It was a good thing he had enough practice for it to be very convincing. Wally eyed him dubiously though.

Robin's serious face turned playful as he nudged his friend "C'mon KF"

Kid Flash pursed his lips in thought before relenting "Alright" A few seconds later, he added as an afterthought "But no commentary from you Birdboy"

Dick feigned ignorance as he exclaimed incredulously "What? Side comments from _me_?"

The speedster swatted him with a grin while Dick laughed out of the way. He washed his hands. The cold water sent goose bumps down his arm. The young acrobat then dried off as he asked "So… what do you need me to do?"

Wally shook his head. He walked over to one of the high stools and flicked off a stray crouton. The speedster presented the seat with jazz hands and a huge grin. Dick bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing.

"You sure you don't need my help?" He asked, tilting his head toward the mess on the counter.

"Aww man!" KF speeded over to his ruined goods. He pouted and Dick wondered when he started finding the expression endearing. He walked over to help but the redhead stopped him. Suddenly, he was seated before the counter with warm hands on his shoulder. He looked back at the freckled teen.

At this distance, Dick could make out the light dusting of cinnamon on the older teen's freckled nose. There was also a smudge of chocolate on his forehead, reaching up to his hairline. The corners of the speedster's lips were smeared with a yellowish substance. From the smell of it, the hacker identified it as marmalade jam. Once more, Robin raised an eyebrow, silent query hanging in the air. Wally merely wiggled his eyebrows and Dick snickered as he let the other zip off to cook.

The young acrobat had front row seats to the show. It was a good thing he had enough experience in speedster surveillance. Without it, he doubted he could catch up as Wally moved to and fro. The goopy mess on the counter was cleared away and replaced with new utensil and various containers. Flour, eggs, butter, bread, sugar, fruits meat, milk, and more littered the marble counters. Robin opened his mouth to criticize his best friend's organizational skill when Wally appeared before him.

Green eyes narrowed in warning as a spatula was held threateningly to the side. Dick raised his hands up in surrender with a quick shake of his head in fond exasperation. Satisfied with the response, Wally went back to work

In the few minutes he spent observing the riveting culinary display, there was one thing Dick was certain of.

Wally had the patience and attention span of a five-year old.

The teen couldn't help but rush through everything. Effortless activities became more complicated due to his impatience. The act of cracking an egg evolved into cracking it then shaking out the contents hastily, which entailed egg shells that had to be separated and the occasional airborne egg.

Once, Dick had to duck down to avoid getting hit. The small protein treasure chest met its unfortunate demise on a wall behind him. Conner had leaned into view, eyeing the goo with mild dread. Dick couldn't stop laughing for a good minute.

Pouring liquids meant spillage. More often than not, Wally exceeded the mark with his hurrying. Just moments ago, the speedster had raised the milk jug a little too high. A few shakes and suddenly, the cap fell off. The waterfall of milk had swept across the counter at a dizzying speed and flowed off right onto Robin's lap.

Needless to say, a milk bath was _not_ on the agenda for today.

Even dry items weren't immune to speedster recklessness. Dick hadn't done anything yet he was covered in flour, cocoa and whatever else. Wally's wild movements ensured that no matter what he did, from opening a bag, to sifting powder, to beating a mix, it would result in the Boy Wonder being splattered.

The freckled dork just couldn't wait for this to boil, or for that to simmer. Waiting was just not in his list of strengths and so, Wally cooked everything at the same time.

It was with mild fascination that Dick watched. What his best friend lacked in patience, he made up for in being fast enough to move through one task to the next and back. Wally was everywhere at once. One second, he'd be frying some strips of bacon, the next, he'd be flipping over an omelet. He would be at one corner chopping up some fruits then in the other taking out some muffins. In a way, the speedster had some semblance of a system, like a multi-tasking machine.

Soon, everything came together. Used dishes were dumped at the sink or the dishwasher, and replaced with platters of food. French toast, pancakes, waffles, sandwiches and muffins were stacked one atop the other creating a mountain of carbs. Chopped fruits and an assortment of nuts presented a wide array of color, as hot cocoa and fruit juice were placed at the side. Bacon, ham, eggs and sausages were sprawled out in a protein feast.

It seemed a like an overload of food but then Robin remembered that the team consisted of four teenage boys, one of which, a speedster.

Dick had to say, presentation-wise, he'd rate it a two out of ten—and that was him being generous. But the smell… _oh the smell_ had him drooling and his stomach growling. The prepared food soon had the team gathered back into the room; if not in hunger then at least in curiosity.

"Tadaa!" The speedster exclaimed excitedly as he laid out a plate before his best friend.

"What… _is that_?" Artemis asked behind Dick. The team had surrounded the Boy Wonder.

"A pancake" Wally answered with his trusty spatula held loftily at his side.

Dick stared at the indiscernible shape and shared a look with his fellow non-speedsters. The variety of expression had him wishing he had a camera. Artemis had her face in her hand as she muttered about crazy speedsters and suicidal birds. M'gann was trying to give him an encouraging smile but her fidgeting hands belied her worry. Kaldur was shaking his head regretfully; it seemed like he was saying a small prayer. Conner was glaring at the "pancake" hoping to magically gain heat vision.

Hesitation pooled in his stomach but before the Boy Wonder could back down, he looked up to his best friend. Wally's face stood out the most. The speedster was practically glowing eagerly. Dick couldn't let him down; the image of Wally's ridiculously happy face was imprinted in his mind.

Robin gulped nervously. He raised his fork and began to cut off a piece.

"Tell them I died an honorable death"

Wally rolled his eyes and he ate.

It looked like road kill but tasted like heaven. It was soft and fluffy. A mix of milk, vanilla and the right amount of nutella greeted his taste buds enticingly. The maple syrup was slightly spiced and Dick found that it just added to the explosion of flavor. He didn't think a pancake could taste this good.

He moaned in appreciation. His cheeks reddened at the sound but he kept on eating.

The team was eyeing him in various states of _'you have got to be kidding me_' but he ignored them. He decided that while nobody could beat Alfred's cookies, Wally's pancakes had to be held in the same regard.

The need to sate his curiosity ate away at Conner and abruptly, he grabbed Dick's fork out of his hand. The young acrobat complained but by then, the half-Kryptonian already had the rest of the pancake shoved in his mouth. His eyes widened before he too moaned out.

The other teens in the vicinity blushed at the response. That was the last thing anybody expected out of Superboy, of all people. Conner remained indifferent and moved on to grab his own plate. He towered it to full capacity.

Kaldur looked at the both of them in disbelief before braving on. He took a small bite of an omelet.

The normally collected Atlantian was soon wolfing down mouthfuls of French toast and fruit salad. Beside him, Miss Martian was eating more daintily but with the same gusto. Artemis was tearing away some bacon with her teeth.

"I still think you cheated" she said between mouthfuls

"I didn't!" Wally was by the stove, cooking a few more items. The feast laid out was slowly but surely being consumed. Despite the upcoming argument, everyone was in a good mood, including the bickering two.

"Uh-huh" The archer leveled a look at the speedster. It lost some of its heat when she bit into her sixth slice.

"How would I even do that?"

"I don't know. Magic maybe" Artemis said, smirking at the speedster's reaction.

M'gann intervened before things could get out of hand "I didn't know you could cook so well Wally, maybe you could teach me?"

"I wouldn't count on that Miss M" Robin said as he smiled cheekily at his best friend. "Could be dangerous"

"Yeah… bad idea" Conner added, remembering the new wall décor in the lounge with a shiver.

Wally groaned at their combined attack. "They complain yet they eat, unbelievable"

Dick smiled as he took a final bite from his waffle. It had blueberries and was delicious—he still preferred the pancakes though. Kaldur had a thoughtful look on his face. The Atlantian lowered his utensils before facing the speedster.

"So… tell us my friend, how did you manage to—"

"_Not_ poison us?" Artemis interjected over her pomegranate juice. Wally gave her a withering look as she grinned at him.

"Actually, _Kaldur_" Wally pointedly ignored the archer sticking her tongue out at him "cooking's a lot like chemistry"

"—only messier" Dick piped in, sharing an impish look with Artemis. He stood up to grab a mug of hot cocoa while Kaldur smiled at their antics. Wally had his arms crossed as he neared.

"Rob, you are not nice" The redhead said as he pouted.

Dick had the strange urge to nip at the speedster's lip. Instead, he chose to further prove Wally's point by stealing his drink and fleeing before the speedster could take it back. He sat back down with a chuckle and took a sip.

He tasted marmalade on the rim of the mug.

Dick flushed.

"It's like you and Robin took a bath in a bakery" Conner said as he continued to eat. The comment garnered him odd looks and a guffawing Artemis.

"Oh shut it Arty!"

The squabbling continued on for some time with M'gann giggling, Kaldur acting as the referee and Conner minding his own. The sounds of eating and laughter reverberated and Dick closed his eyes to take it all in. _This_ felt like home. He was content and about to drift off to sleep when he heard a soft clink. He opened his eyes to the face of his best friend. Wally beamed at him and he grinned back.

There was a plate laid out before him. On it was the perfect pancake.

Artemis hummed out appreciatively

"Wow Wally, I didn't think you could make a circular one" M'gann said unexpectedly. She blushed when she realized she had said that out loud "I mean—"

"I agree M'gann, it is quite a miracle" Kaldur looked impressed and Conner grunted in agreement.

"You guys!" Wally griped as the others chuckled. The speedster had his own drink back in his hands.

Dick shook his head as he looked back down at the fluffy wonder. He noted that unlike the others, this one had chocolate drizzled on. The syrup was shaped into a big letter R—almost like his own logo—and under it, was a small "HB".

Quickly he looked up catching the speedster's eye. While the other teens continued to chatter on, he mouthed a silent "thank you". Wally smiled at him before taking a sip of his drink and Dick licked his lips unconsciously.

Wally remembered.


End file.
